so i got married like a month ago .. and i went to my mother's house .. its so weird to call it that because my house or my home now refer to a different address .. a different home .. and a series of weirdness never ends from now on .. like going to my old room and finding it so clean .. the room i lived in for the past 15 years .. where i had my marked pillow with my initial "k" so my sisters would stop using it .. and the broken mirror by my nephew .. the walls which were pink and violet .. the pink was me and the violet was my sister who was practically my soul mate until she also changed address .. or got married .. it was really hard for me to leave my comfort zone .. I mean my home .. I mean my mother's home .. so i made the task of leaving really impossible .. so i aimed for the impossible .. the one who will make me leave has to be extremely hard to find .. my true soul mate .. the one who completes me .. and make my dreams come true .. someone who would support my success not try to ruin it .. someone who respects me and knows my strength but still can understand that i'm not a boy no matter how strong i may appear .. it was the most impossible goal .. but i made it happen .. because i found him .. and i knew that this is the one who will rescue me .. he did rescue me .. emotionally .. mentally .. physically .. because we found each other we found love .. and it opened our hearts to the light of God .. but i can't be in my comfort zone and start a family with him .. i had to leave .. i hate change and everything related to change .. major decisions that changes the course of many lives .. i have so many guards .. so many shields .. and when i lay one of them down it comes back to haunt me .. what's after this dream .. what comes after you made the finish line .. you start another race .. i don't want another race .. i just want to live in peace .. i'm tired of running after my dreams .. and i miss my comfort zone ..
