Really tired feeling heavy can barely walk .. excited about the next phase in my life .. where i'm going to be a mother and a wife .. I've survived my first year of marriage without any collateral damage :) which makes me proud of us really .. i love him and i'm trying my best and so is he .. we have been preparing ourselves for these days and this phase of being married to someone we love ever since we started dreaming about each other .. and it took alot .. it wasn't all butterflies and flowers and kisses and hugs .. there were a few bad days and big fights .. mostly i want to be happy and peaceful .. and that's his goal too .. i just have a few trust issues that i'm still working on .. mostly inherited issues from what i saw from marriages i lived around .. right now all i see is a good guy and a good family that has taken me with love .. deep down at some moments i see it clear in his eyes that he really adores me .. and loves everything i do and how i think and act .. and has taken me as a part of his heart and soul truly .. I'm really happy about being here .. i really wish we will be the best parents our baby could have .. i hope we love her all the love she needs and more .. i hope she feels loved .. and be content .. about her life and her parents .. i hope life gives her all the help she can get .. i hope i don't over protect her from actually living .. but still its the hardest thing in the world to know the shit she will go through and leave her face it .. but its the right thing to do most of the time .. please God .. protect her .. inside me .. and outside me .. she is the daughter of love of two soul mates .. she is practically an angel really .. she has a part of him and a part of me .. a son of love and a daughter of love .. of four great grandparents .. i'm greatful for this spiritual place i'm at and this content and fulfillment i'm feeling .. Thank you God for giving me a loving husband .. and a promise of an amazing daughter .. can't wait to meet her ..
