Chronic depression

I needed to hear that there is something wrong with me .. I also needed to hear that i'm fighting it .. I'm risking my talent but my talent is eating me alive .. I'm turning into someone i hate and everthing around me pulls me down into that whole inside my soul .. I can't waste those days that is supposed to be the best days of my life by simply being me .. Too much is going on and i need to be strong enough to handle everything the way it should be .. My heart feels like its been run over by a truck .. But the antidepressent is not magic .. I still want to write everything so i thought i could write about this state i'm in .. So it seems that the mechanism of action of this antidepressent is that it stops the action of a certain hormon that inhibits the happiness hormon discharge from the brain .. I would like to call the hormon that makes me sad "grumpy" .. I love the way God created us . Its always so simple ..& genius in the same time ..
And i broke my grumpy thermometer ..