هذيان

Feeling too weak to fight my own thoughts as I have been doing for so long now .. i just miss writing .. i miss the world so bad .. because its like loosing the faith battle all over again .. or maybe just laziness .. feeling too lazy to believe in the better world out of anything .. this life means something to me .. and if it means documenting my own story so be it .. i'm so sick of being so scared of everything .. being fearless is also bad in a way .. but still .. it has to be this or that .. i have to write read think .. i've just given up on that dream .. i have to be me .. i have to be strong .. i have to believe in the better world because the world needs people like me .. because God put that faith in my heart for a reason .. this growth obligates me to give back to the my country and to the universe .. i always knew what to do i just hope that it gets easier .. and you know that you can wish for something and if you believe it enough .. it will happen .. but in its own time .. so you just do your best and just let go .. and in time .. what ever you wish for will show up for you .. and you will have the choice to take it or just leave it ..