... still..watching the sunshine from the wrong side everyday..
again extremely sad.. or maybe hell mad..
alot has not yet happened ..
days are slacken ..
resentment is backing inside my heart..
bitterness is tearing my world apart..
i refuse any help .. i refuse to look beyond this wall..
every now and then .. someone opens the light ..
and i know .. the reason ..
but now .. i'm all left out .. in the darkness ..
in the shadows of my life ..
waiting for my day to come..
when everyday of my life is my day..
but still.. feels like i'm living someone else's life..
someone sad .. alone.. someone who lives in despair ..
i'm trying to save us another sad poem .. another depressive status ...
another song about how we are not together ...
but i just can't ... i keep getting back to the same spot i'm mad at you for being in ...
feeling like the end .. and blaming yourself ... or myself ...
when the truth is I miss you even when claim you don't ...
when you keep saying i'm gone or when you make me feel that you are left out .. it breaks my heart .. even the dream state that is the only thing that is left from all what we had ... just .. gets a reality check.. i can't ask you to be okie and happy .. and even in the same dreamy state as i am .. when we are worlds apart.. my world of dreams is the only place i'm safe in .. from this life .. even from myself.. i'm sad i'm crying the house is full of strangers who claims to be family.. everything is a mess .. everything is so loud .. just tired from all this .. i'm addicted to your light .. i'm in this phase when i really hate my eyes .. i can't open the gait to my tears it leads me to dark places i promised myself i won't step a foot in it ever again ,, the only help i want is yours and i can't just ask you for it .. i'm like the addict who is trying to resist the need to the last hidden stash .. saving it for a rainy day ... but right now .. it's flooding ...i don't wanna be alone right now .. please just kill me right now so i won't wake up to another day ... nothing lasts.. even sadness ..
again extremely sad.. or maybe hell mad..
alot has not yet happened ..
days are slacken ..
resentment is backing inside my heart..
bitterness is tearing my world apart..
i refuse any help .. i refuse to look beyond this wall..
every now and then .. someone opens the light ..
and i know .. the reason ..
but now .. i'm all left out .. in the darkness ..
in the shadows of my life ..
waiting for my day to come..
when everyday of my life is my day..
but still.. feels like i'm living someone else's life..
someone sad .. alone.. someone who lives in despair ..
i'm trying to save us another sad poem .. another depressive status ...
another song about how we are not together ...
but i just can't ... i keep getting back to the same spot i'm mad at you for being in ...
feeling like the end .. and blaming yourself ... or myself ...
when the truth is I miss you even when claim you don't ...
when you keep saying i'm gone or when you make me feel that you are left out .. it breaks my heart .. even the dream state that is the only thing that is left from all what we had ... just .. gets a reality check.. i can't ask you to be okie and happy .. and even in the same dreamy state as i am .. when we are worlds apart.. my world of dreams is the only place i'm safe in .. from this life .. even from myself.. i'm sad i'm crying the house is full of strangers who claims to be family.. everything is a mess .. everything is so loud .. just tired from all this .. i'm addicted to your light .. i'm in this phase when i really hate my eyes .. i can't open the gait to my tears it leads me to dark places i promised myself i won't step a foot in it ever again ,, the only help i want is yours and i can't just ask you for it .. i'm like the addict who is trying to resist the need to the last hidden stash .. saving it for a rainy day ... but right now .. it's flooding ...i don't wanna be alone right now .. please just kill me right now so i won't wake up to another day ... nothing lasts.. even sadness ..
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